Trailers by Brandon: Scarecrows, space, swords and stinkpiles

Trailers

This is the best week we’ve had for trailers in a long time. Honestly, the top four trailers released could have come in at number one during any other week — there are just so many good ones between Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark, Ad Astra and more. We should also probably address that Dark Phoenix mess, as well as tons more in this week’s Trailers by Brandon.

Opening this weekend:

Dark Phoenix

Did….did you guys think this was going to be good or something? I mean, have you seen the trailers? I’m seeing all these article and tweets online saying how this is the worst X-Men movie to date — and, like, yeah. I haven’t even seen the thing yet and I’m still not all that surprised.

The Secret Life of Pets 2

The more trailers and promo material they release for The Secret Life of Pets 2, the less I care. The first one was fine. Not great, not even good, but fine. The Secret Life of Pets 2 looks, at best, just as fine. I can’t say that I’m feeling a huge calling to go see this one in a theater.

Late Night

Late Night, on the other hand, is one that I absolutely do want to go see. The trailers have all made me laugh as they remind me a lot of The Big Sick, I love the cast and the premise — everything here is looking pretty great.

The Last Black Man in San Francisco

I haven’t seen the movie yet, but I still feel comfortable enough to say it — A24, you’ve done it again. At least, I really hope this turns out to be as good as the trailers make it out to be. It’s one of the studios more dramatic endeavors, by the looks of it, but they’ve done great with things like Moonlight and Mid90s, so they have my ticket.

New trailers:

Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark (Aug. 9, 2019)

These trailers, man, they’re working on me. It’s more so the vibe than anything else, I think. On the surface, a PG-13 horror movie sounds kind of lame, but when you hear about how Guillermo del Toro and director Andre Ovredal want to make a really scary for teenagers that teenagers will actually be allowed to see in the theater, it makes me think of things like Goonies, Poltergeist and that sort of thing. It’s cool! You don’t see a whole lot of that this day and age when it comes to horror — studios usually either go for a hard R in something like Hellboy or an edited PG-13 that was clearly meant to be an R like World War Z. Let’s…let’s do more of this, shall we?

Ad Astra (Sept. 20, 2019)

Yes to original sci-fi movies. Yes to James Gray directing. Yes to just about everything Ad Astra, this far. I don’t even want to watch any more trailers, to be honest. This footage tickled my curiosity just enough in an Interstellar kind of way to the point where I want to save all the surprises for the movie itself.

Ford vs. Ferrari (Nov. 15, 2019)

I didn’t think I’d ever care about car makes or models until James Mangold got involved. Seriously, this looks great (I told you it was a good week for trailers)! It takes a topic that some people might not know or care a lot about, finds a way to drive in some intensity in a First Man kind of way and seems to give us some really grounded performances. Let’s do this thing, Mangold.

Luce (Aug. 2, 2019)

It’s like Ma, only maybe not? Or maybe it is? The coolest thing about Luce and this trailer is that it sets up this dynamic without giving any hint towards what the truth really is. I’m now DYING to see more and to figure out who’s right, as whoever it is will dramatically change the entire tone of this entire film. A very risky but very cool premise, if you ask me.

Sword of Trust (July 12, 2019)

I was a little skeptical going in just because I had no idea what this was at first, but this trailer works. The cast alone — and especially GLOW’s Marc Maron — make it work. This premise makes it work. Everything, really, just seems like it’s working with this one.

The Chambermaid (June 26, 2019)

Strong Roma vibes out of The Chambermaid, and that’s not a bad thing. I might not be dying to see this one as bad as the first four mentioned movies, but I’m curious to see how Lila Avilés is going to portray this slice-of-life character.

Them That Follow (Aug. 2, 2019)

This trailer is vague, which isn’t a bad thing, but also doesn’t totally convince me I need to rush out to see this. I can say that I love the cast — The Favourite’s Olivia Coleman, Hateful Eight’s Walton Goggins, Booksmart’s Kaitlyn Dever and Me, Earl and the Dying Girl’s Thomas Mann are all incredible actors — and the snake imagery is pretty cool. Yet, this first look is missing something that’ll leave a lasting impression, as the details are already starting to get a little hazy.

After the Wedding (Aug. 9, 2019)

No offense to Julianne Moore and Michelle Williams, but doesn’t it feel like they’re both a little above this kind of thing? Like, we just saw Moore crush it in Gloria Bell and Williams has always been great. They can probably do better than an uninteresting, sleazy thriller like this, right?

Cold Blood (2019)

Average, boring and poorly edited action thriller number 1080, coming right up. Can’t say I remember anything else about this trailer or have anything else insightful to say but that so, yeah, no thanks!

Rewind:

Iron Will (1994)

I really can’t say whether or not this one holds up in modern day given that I haven’t seen it since I was a young kid, but Secret Life of Pets had me thinking about dog movies and that somehow brought me back to Iron Will — the story about a young boy and his dogsled team racing across Alaska. Anyone else remember this one, or is it just me? Seems like a prime rewatch, I think.

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Brandon Schreur

The fella over there with the hella good hair. Movies and TV are my jam, and the fact that I get to write about them on a regular basis is the bees knees.

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