'What We Do in the Shadows' episode: 'The Orgy'

What We Do in the Shadows

Things get kinky in What We Do in the Shadows’ penultimate episode, “The Orgy.”

It’s said that twice every year, there is one house of undead creatures that is unholily selected to host a vampire orgy.

These orgies, apparently, are required to be so erotic and next-level, to the point where every vampire’s worst nightmare is throwing one that isn’t up to par (half of the bats you see flying around are just vampires who are embarrassed to return to human form because of their poorly received orgies, Nadja tells us).

Despite their lack of goodwill with the high-ranking members of the vampire community as we saw in “The TrialWhat We Do in the Shadows episode, the latest vampire orgy will be held by, you guessed it, Nandor, Lazlo, Nadja and Colin.

What We Do in the Shadows
credit: YouTube

Ironically, as you also might have guessed, it’s Guillermo who has to do all the work while the rest of them just sit around and complain (except for Colin, that is — he’s excited about the idea of bringing someone into his bedroom for the first time).

With tensions around the house high, Nandor and Guillermo head to the party store to pick up some supplies while Lazlo decides to give his wife a little treat.

That treat turns to be all the pornos that Lazlo has made in the past century — a gift that Nadja doesn’t appreciate, not because she doesn’t want to see her husband having sex with other people but because, in her own words, “his movies are so boring.”

Never change, What We Do in the Shadows.

Lazlo doesn’t take this revelation very well and heads to his coffin to sulk, vowing that he no longer has any interest in partaking in the orgy.

What We Do in the Shadows
credit: YouTube

Things aren’t going much better for Guillermo. While they’re at the store, they run into one of his old, human friends — Jeremy.

Nandor only needs one good look at Jeremy to instantly know that Jeremy is a virgin. As it turns out, a fresh virgin is exactly what the orgy is missing, he thinks, which is why Nandor quickly invites Jeremy to accompany them the following evening.

As the sun begins to set the following day, people start to arrive — including the Babadook himself (a great job even despite the fact that there are no vampires in The Babadook) — and the orgy begins.

Despite Guillermo’s unease in having his friend being brought to this party only to be killed, things go well enough, at first.

That is, right up until the point when Lazlo gets up on a ladder, grabs the microphone and tells everyone how thankful he is that he has a wife now and is no longer involved in the porn business. Sweet, right? Maybe so, but it’s certainly not a speech that does anything for anybody at an orgy.

What We Do in the Shadows
credit: YouTube

The vampires get unease and start to show signs of wanting to leave, but Nadja isn’t ready for everyone to give up just yet.

Right when Guillermo decides he’s going to get Jeremy out there, the vampires start looking for him — only for both parties to find that Jeremy is off having sex with someone in the backroom, meaning here’s therefore no longer a virgin (a loss for everyone, as Guillermo got an unfortunately close look as to what his friend was up to).

The party is a bust. Our three vampire heroes dropped the ball once again as everyone heads home disappointed (just wait until the Manhattan vampire crew hears about how bad this turned out).

We end this What We Do With the Shadows episode with a horrified look from Nandor as he heads upstairs to cheer his buddies up, only to find two bats — Lazlo and Nadja — having sex in the middle of the floor.

Gross.

What We Do in the Shadows
credit: YouTube

There’s only one What We Do in the Shadows episode left this season but, don’t worry, because the show has already been renewed to continue.

Tune in to FX tonight to catch the newest episode of What We Do in the Shadows and check out some of our other What We Do in the Shadows recaps by clicking here!

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Brandon Schreur

The fella over there with the hella good hair. Movies and TV are my jam, and the fact that I get to write about them on a regular basis is the bees knees.

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