Trailers by Brandon: We'll all float with 'It: Chapter 2'

It: Chapter 2

Cancel all your plans. Right now. Cancel ‘em. They don’t matter anymore because the It: Chapter 2 trailer has arrived, meaning you are legally obligated to watch it on repeat for the entire weekend and do nothing else at all. Sorry, I don’t make the rules. Along with creepy clowns, we’ve also got Pokémon Detective Pikachu and Spider-Man: Far From Home in this week’s Trailers by Brandon.

Opening this week:

Pokémon Detective Pikachu

There are a lot of people who are very anxiously awaiting this movie and, ya know what, more power to them. Pokémon never really was my thing growing up, meaning I will most definitely not understand all the easter eggs and cameos this movie is sure to be jam-packed with, but it’s getting some positive buzz and the fans will no doubt eat it up so, hey, good on you Detective Pikachu.

The Hustle

A remake of Dirty, Rotten Scoundrels that all of the man-babies out there decided they’d hate already, I have hopes for The Hustle. The trailers have made me laugh, and while I haven’t loved everything that Anne Hathaway or Rebel Wilson have been in, I can see them having good chemistry together. I’m not saying this is going to be an instant classic or anything like that, but there’s no need to immediately dismiss this one out of hand.

Tolkien

These last two movies you can dismiss out of hand, though. Making a J.R. Tolkien biopic is ambitious, to say the least. So ambitious that you’d better be willing to back it up with time and effort. The trailers for Tolkien — which is now a movie that’s actually been disowned by the Tolkien family (not that a similar controversy did anything to derail the god-awful Green Book) — really just look like someone threw this thing together at the last minute. That doesn’t sound too promising, does it?

Poms

Poms is a movie that CLEARLY isn’t made for my age demographic, which is why I can’t be as mad at this one as I was for Tolkien. My grandma would probably have a good time watching this one, which kind of sounds like an insult, but also is kind of just a fact — like, my grandma most definitely WOULD almost undoubtedly like this movie.

New trailers:

It: Chapter 2 (Sept. 6, 2019)

Tears, y’all. This trailer is damn near reducing me to tears. With this footage alone, It: Chapter 2 has easily become one of my most anticipated films for the rest of the year. Granted, I’m biased as I might be the biggest fan of both the It novel and the first film, but c’mon. Watch this trailer and try to tell me you aren’t DYING to see more.

You know what great about this footage, too? Everything we see here comes straight out of the book. That scene in the beginning is pulled straight from the second half, as are a number of those other quick shots and snippets briefly shown (they’re doing the restaurant scene!!). That means fans of the book are going to get what they hoped for and still won’t be spoiled on any of the new scares that director Andy Muschietti will bring into the picture, too. Point is, we should all be very, very excited for this movie to hit. September just can’t come soon enough.

The Farewell (July 12, 2019)

This is the Awkwafina I’ve been waiting for, I think. She was funny in Ocean’s 8 and Crazy, Rich Asians, sure, but I’m so much more excited to see what she can do with a more dramatic role like this. This, as a whole, looks pretty incredible too. I love A24’s involvement and the overall sad-but-sweet vibe this has going for it. Let’s make more of this and less of whatever the hell Climax was, shall we?

Spider-Man: Far From Home (July 2, 2019)

This, objectively, is a good trailer. Seeing an MCU film post Avengers: Endgame like this is a really smart move. Having it told through the eyes of Spider-Man — the friendly, neighborhood, boots-on-the-ground hero — is even smarter. My one complaint is that it just feels a *little* too soon. Wouldn’t it be, like, way cooler and more rewarding if Marvel took a year or so off to let Endgame sit for a little bit? I mean, I know comic-book movies are the big thing and they’d probably never do that, but we’re also 22 movies into this franchise. Giving us a little time to breathe after that big, concluding chapter we just saw doesn’t seem like the worst idea in the world to me, at least.

Again, the trailers for Spider-Man: Far From Home have been exciting nonetheless (I like the ambiguity behind Jake Gyllenhaal’s character even though I think I have a pretty good idea of where it’s going) and you know I’m going to be there on opening day, it’s just food for thought.

The Lodge (2019)

I honestly remember seeing this trailer in a theater for some movie I was seeing (probably La Llorona or some other recent horror movie). And it’s intriguing! Not drop-dead perfection like the It: Chapter 2 trailer might be, but still pretty eerie and unsettling. The directors, Severin Fiala and Veronica Franz, made a pretty impressive feature with Goodnight Mommy, too, which bodes well for The Lodge.

Judy (Sept. 27, 2019)

Renée Zellweger certainly looks like Judy Garland, doesn’t she? As with any biopic, the question with Judy is really how far this film is willing to go. If it’s just a Bohemian Rhapsody fluff piece, that’s fine I guess as Judy Garland is a national treasure, but it’ll still be a missed opportunity. If they dive deeper into Garland’s life — which is pretty tragic, if you’re aware of everything she went through — this could be fantastic. There’s no way of telling just from this short tease, of course, but it’s one to keep your eye on for now.

Where’d You Go, Bernadette (Aug. 16, 2019)

Alright. This trailer is admittedly much better than the teaser was, and you’d be a fool to bet against either Richard Linklater or Cate Blanchett. That being said, I feel like there’s still something missing. This is obviously meaning more into the School of Rock or Everybody Wants Some!! (one of the most underrated movies of the last decade) side of Linklater, but I also can’t shake that slightly cheesy, daytime TV feeling off, either, almost as if this thing is trying just a bit too hard to be inspirational.

I Am Mother (June 7, 2019)

Hello, Mother. I am Brandon. You are a very generic looking sci-fi being put out by Netflix that gives away the whole story in these two minutes of footage (trailers in general really need to stop doing that). That is all.

American Woman (June 14, 2019)

You’ve got Sienna Miller and Aaron Paul together in a movie together, which should be an automatic win, right? Thing is, I watched the trailer for American Woman this morning and I couldn’t tell you a single thing about this movie as it’s completely escaped from my memory, soooo…..Also, can we stop putting the word “American” in movie titles? Between American Sniper, American Pie, American Honey, American Psycho, American Beauty, American History X, American Gangster, American Assassin, American Animals and SO many more (that list doesn’t include all the TV shows), it has officially been overdone.

Isabelle (May 24, 2019)

Again, like the American Woman trailer, I’m struggling to remember what the Isabelle trailer was actually about. There was a Rosemary’s Baby kind of vibe, I think? With a creepy neighbor, or something? Except it didn’t really look that good, I think?

Summer Night (July 12, 2019)

We have at least one or two of these trailers every week now, and I really just couldn’t care less. Stop making generic graduating from high school and going into college movies that are trying way too hard to be nostalgic, inspiring and romantic, because it really just isn’t working.

Rewind:

The Kids Are All Right (2010)

This weekend is Mother’s Day, so go celebrate all the mothers out there with something like The Kids Are All Right. I mean, between Julianne Moore and Annette Benning, is there any other pair who could make better on-screen moms than them? I think not.

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Brandon Schreur

The fella over there with the hella good hair. Movies and TV are my jam, and the fact that I get to write about them on a regular basis is the bees knees.

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