Trailers by Brandon: Skip this movie if you want to live

Trailers

You could go see Aladdin like everyone else this weekend or, preferably, you could go see something like Booksmart or Brightburn — that being something that actually deserves you’re hard earned money and will probably be way better, anyway. With an impressive new trailer for Once Upon a Time … in Hollywood and, uh, shall we say a less interesting one for a new Terminator movie, there’s plenty of new content to dive into in this week’s Trailers by Brandon.

Opening this week:

Brightburn

Two horror superhero movies in the same year (Hellboy, which ALL Y’ALL slept on, being the other one)? Can it really be true? So far, the trailers and early buzz for Brightburn has been exciting. With James Gunn’s involvement, this is bound to be a good one.

Aladdin

Early reviews for Aladdin are saying that it’s better than the movie is better than the trailers have made it out to be, but, like, c’mon. It still doesn’t look that good and, as of this post, it’s now dipped down to below 60% on Rotten Tomatoes. Also, are we just forgetting that whole thing when Disney that brown-face controversy that hit the news cycles a year or so ago? Because that, uh, is definitely not something that should be overlooked.

Booksmart

The movie I’ve been preaching and preaching to you about for the past three weeks, Booksmart is the one you absolutely have to see this weekend. It’s Superbad and Lady Bird all rolled into one brilliantly, epic and hilarious film, therefore making it an absolute must-see.

New trailers:

Once Upon a Time … in Hollywood (July 26, 2019)

Speaking of must-sees, throw Once Upon a Time … In Hollywood up on the list of movies that just can’t get here soon enough. Receiving a six-minute standing ovation at the Cannes Film Festival while simultaneously dropping one of the better trailers I’ve seen in a while, Quentin Tarantino’s new film just needs to hurry up and get here already. 

The Nightingale (Aug. 2, 2019)

The Babadook director (finally) returns with what looks to be a really interesting, intense thriller. I hesitate to call it a horror film based on this trailer alone (other trailers might prove me wrong), but I do see kind of a The Wind vibe to it that could be interesting.

The Art of Self Defense (July 12, 2019)

Alright, I was on the fence when I saw the teaser, but I think this one won me over. I’m sensing a somewhat predictable, Fight Club kind of storyline — which is fine, because it’s not like we get too many movies like Fight Club these days. The jokes, for what their work, made me laugh, too (especially the one about petting his dog), so, sure, let’s give it a shot.

Terminator: Dark Fate (Nov. 1, 2019)

I mean, I’m going to see it, but that still doesn’t mean I’m too impressed by this trailer. Honestly, they *almost* had me right up until they started jumping around on airplanes and whatnot, making this look like a Fast and Furious sequel more than anything else. Sigh. Can we just call it quits on the terminator movies already?

Abominable (Sept. 27, 2019)

This is better than the first trailer, I’ll admit. Dreamworks is clearly trying to create another How to Train Your Dragon franchise since they just ended that with The Hidden World — I just don’t know if I’m feeling it this time around. Then again, Storks was a pretty pleasant surprise, so what do I know?

Katie Says Goodbye (June 7, 2019)

Bye Katie. Have fun wherever it is you’re off to. We’ll hold down the fort for you back here. As for this trailer itself, it’s fine. Can’t say I’m dying to see it or anything but, if there’s positive buzz around it, I guess I’d be willing to give it a chance.

Downton Abbey (Sept. 20, 2019)

These trailers, I’m sure, do a lot of the fans. For those who have never watched Downtown Abbey, though, they’re really kind of baffling — is there any plot to this show/movie? Is it just about British people drinking tea and being nice to each other? Honestly, I’m a little curious to find out more, but probably not to the point where I’m actually going to see this movie.

Burn Your Maps (June 21, 2019)

Judging by his age in this trailer compared to Good Boys or his recent Twilight Zone episode, Jacob Tremblay has either gone back in time or, from the looks of it, this one sat on the shelves for a few years (which is actually true, as the film premiered at TIFF all the way back in 2016). A movie that’s waited that long for a release is almost always a bad sign — especially when this trailer didn’t do a whole lot for me, either.

Bottom of the 9th (July 19, 2019)

Average and clichéd baseball story: the movie! On the bright side, looks like Kevin Costner found his way out of being studio’s go-to when it comes time to make one of these sports comeback movies. Good for him, I suppose. Maybe not so good for Joe Manganiello.

The Art of Racing in the Rain (Aug. 9, 2019)

I know I go after movies a lot, but I was honestly in with this one for a minute….right up until I realized it was the dog doing the narration. Sigh. While there’s more of a Marley and Me kind of tone here rather than whatever that re-incarnating puppy franchise is called, this is still just too much for me to handle.

Rewind:

Darkman (1990)

You like horror superhero movies? Good news! They’ve never really been popular, but the sub-genre has been around for some time now — 1990’s Darkman with Liam Neeson being a particularly good one that deserves to be talked about more often. Directed by Evil Dead’s Sam Raimi, the film revolves around a scientist who gets burnt alive and then goes full-on Punisher to take his vengeance on those who left him for dead. With a Spawn reboot soon coming from Todd McFarlane, what do you guys think the odds we can get Darkman back on the big screen sometime soon?

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Brandon Schreur

The fella over there with the hella good hair. Movies and TV are my jam, and the fact that I get to write about them on a regular basis is the bees knees.

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