Trailers by Brandon: Keanu, Keanu and more Keanu

Trailers

Move over Detective Pikachu and Avengers: Endgame — it’s time to make way for the one, the only, MR. JOHN WICK. Oh, I am oh so very ready for this movie. We’ve also got new trailers for Midsommar and, *checks notes*, a Maleficent sequel (?!?!) to get into with this week’s Trailers by Brandon.

Opening this week:

John Wick: Chapter 3 - Parabellum

It’s a good, good day when a new John Wick movie comes out — especially when the trailers to this third movie have been insane. With all the same team coming back from the first two movies, there’s a good chance John Wick is going to go down in history as one of the best action trilogies, ever.

A Dog’s Journey

I still don’t believe that this thing is a movie, let alone a franchise now, but here we are — we’ve made a sequel to a story that’s about a reincarnating dog. Is this real life? Am I dreaming? I must be dreaming. This can’t be real.

The Sun is Also a Star

A movie that’s clearly going after that Fault in Our Stars, Five Feet Apart crowd (we almost always get one of these this time of year), The Sun is Also a Star will find an audience that most certainly isn’t for me.

New trailers:

Midsommar (July 3, 2019)

Hereditary director Ari Aster returns with his take on an even more f-ed up version of Wicker Man with Midsommar. The trailers we’ve seen so far have all been great and, more importantly, terrifying. I kind of hope we’re done with trailers from this point on just because I don’t want them to ruin the experience of actually watching the movie, but they’ve certainly sold me on seeing it up to this point.

Always be my Maybe (May 31, 2019)

Pretty sure the sudden Keanu Reeves appearance made me laugh harder than anything else did this week. Not just because that bit of genius, but this whole trailer, really, looks kind of great. It looks like Netflix is expanding outside of their clichéd romantic comedy market to make what is, yes, technically still a romantic comedy, but one that’s going to have a lot more appeal to a wider audience. With some talented leads thrown in there (how cool is it that Randall Park is actually headlining a movie instead of just being thrown in as comedic relief like in Ant-Man and the Wasp and a hundred other movies), this trailer was enough to win me over.

Escape Plan 3: The Extractors (June 20, 2019)

Everyone needs a guilty please franchise, right? Considering I’m the guy who got a kick both out of Escape Plan and Escape Plan 2: Hades, I guess I’m kind of required to keep going at this point, right? I mean, someone’s gotta do it.

Beats (June 19, 2019)

A coming-of-age story with a bit of a different spin to it, this is a good first look at Beats. I’m not sure how wide of an audience this movie is going to find, but it reminds me of this really small indie movie that absolutely nobody saw from a couple of years ago called Kicks.

Angel has Fallen (Aug. 23, 2019)

Like Escape Plan, I’ve seen all of these movies, too — the only difference is that these movies, uh, they aren’t good, guys. Olympus has Fallen was fun, I’ll admit, but London has Fallen was a *bad* movie. It’s not going to take five more trailers to realize that Angel has Fallen looks like it’s more of the same stupidity — which is why I’m going to absolutely hate myself for inevitably going to see it in a theater.

Daughter of the Wolf (Aug. 2, 2019)

The week of 80’s action thriller throwbacks, I guess? Realistically, there’s a good chance I’ll never watch Daughter of the Wolf, and I won’t feel too bad about it, either. That being said, I’ve I’m ever *really* board and have to stumble upon it somewhere, I guess I’d give it a shot. This thing certainly isn’t winning any awards, but it looks like it could be entertaining, I guess?

Killers Anonymous (June 28, 2019)

I don’t know, this has the feeling of something that’s been sitting on the shelf for a long time and is just now weakly trying to find some kind of release. The trailer reminds me a bit of Bad Times at the El Royale (if anyone even remembers that movie, at this point, as I don’t think I’ve heard it brought up in conversation since it’s release), only edited in an obnoxious Suicide Squad kind of way.

Maleficent: Mistress of Evil (Oct. 19, 2019)

What are we doing. Why are we doing this. Can we please make this stop. I’d like to meet the people out there who are the ones actually asking for a Maleficent sequel, because I certainly don’t know any. This trailer is so, like, bland, too. I watched it a couple days ago and I don’t remember a single thing that they actually showed. Is it too late to just stop this entirely?

Rewind:

Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure (1989)

We all love these John Wick movies, but Keanu Reeves’ road to get there has been a long one. Remember all the not-so-great stuff he’s been in? Johnny Mnemonic anyone? What about 47 Ronin? Or, even most recently, Replicas? Yes, there’s been some garbage, but there have been some good ones too — namely comedies like Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure (I’m a Bogus Journey defender, too) are a blast to watch him channel his inner goofy side, as this time-traveling epic allows him to have access a side of him we don’t see too often.

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Brandon Schreur

The fella over there with the hella good hair. Movies and TV are my jam, and the fact that I get to write about them on a regular basis is the bees knees.

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