As we all expected to happen inevitably, the werewolves have made their way onto What We Do in the Shadows.
He’s a gardener, apparently, and takes great joy in displaying his erotic topiary sculptures to the documentary crew that’s following him and his housemates around.
That pride is foiled, however, when he finds a rather unpleasant surprise in the garden that night — werewolf urine.
Yes, the werewolves had officially made their appearance on What We Do in the Shadows. Fans of the movie expected them to show up at one point or another, given their feud with Clement, Taika Waititi and Jonny Brugh’s characters, and now they’re here.
Despite the 20-year old (a golden joke, as they set it up to be this decree written in the medieval ages before revealing it’s actually age) that says vampires and werewolves have an everlasting truth, Lazlo is fed up by his discovery and puts out a werewolf trap anyways.
It doesn’t take long to catch one, either. They find a werewolf caught in the trap the following night, the creature's howling alerting the rest of the vampires to their new prisoner.
They have to let it go, of course (only after forcing Guillermo to address the beast’s wounds, which is undoubtedly an incredibly dangerous job for any human), and they’re smart enough to know he’s likely to be back.
Just a few hours later, the werewolf does return — and this time, he’s got a pack of friends along with him.
After standing out in the yard and trading verbal insults with one another, everyone decides it’s about time to get down to business.
Business meaning that they all go in the vampire’s house and break out the official rule book, of course, because, again, vampires and werewolves aren’t allowed to due.
After much reading and more insults, they eventually learn that a werewolf and a vampire can fight each other to the death in a duel setting, actually, as long as parties agree.
They all then head up to the roof of a closed Circuit City to pick their best fighter. Nandor somehow gets picked, even though he really had no dog in this fight to begin with, while the vampires select a massive human being who can transform into an even more massive werewolf.
The fight doesn’t last too long. Clearly outmatched and facing certain doom, Nandor grabs a squeaky toy and throws it off the roof of the building, which results in a very morbid yet very funny game of fetch.
With victory in the hearts, the three vampires turn into bats and fly home, leaving Guillermo to clean up after them and walk home by himself.
Colin, meanwhile, winds up getting a girlfriend this episode.
He’s sucking the energy out of people from the office when he notices a new face. Great, he thinks, as it’s just another subject to pull from. Only this subject is different. Not only does Evie Russell (Vanessa Bayer) not emit any energy, but she also sucks it out of other people, too.
Colin later reveals this is because she’s an emotional vampire — an evolved version of energy vampires who suck the life out of people by telling them sad, emotional stories.
The battle is on. Colin goes around boring people to sleep while Evie attempts to make them cry until they pass out. All this results in one giant duel of their own in which they trade one-liners back and forth until they can’t take anymore and collapse on the ground.
It’s on the ground when Colin gets the idea — why fight each other? Why not work together?
So, they do, which is a practice that’s basically considered to be dating when you’re vampires. As a team, they take everyone down in the office one by one, as they all fall to prey to the couple’s sob stories or lifeless conversations.
In the end, though, it can’t last as Colin feels he needs to call the relationship off. Evie is a very special woman, but there’s only room for one type of vampire in this office.
With another episode of What We Do in the Shadows in the books, it’ll be interesting to see where we go from here. Are we going to continue the storyline introduced in the premiere episode about Doug Jones’ character, or are there going to be more werewolf antics afoot? And will Colin play into things more — he was largely absent during the second episode, but “Werewolf Feud” is a warm return for Mark Proksch.
For now, you can tune in to FX tonight to catch the newest episode of What We Do in the Shadows.