There’s a small little independent film hitting select theaters this weekend that you probably haven’t heard of called Avengers: Endgame. Ring a bell? No? That okay, because along with the release of what will probably be the most hyped up movie of the year, we’ve got some very science-fiction-ish trailers that we need to talk about, too.
Opening this week:
A film that really needs no introduction, at this point, Avengers: Endgame is the follow-up to last year’s Avengers: Infinity War and is likely going to destroy — like, straight destroy — the box-office this weekend. I have theories on who’s going to die, you have theories on who’s going to die — look, we’ve all got theories based on the trailers, alright?. Now that the film is actually coming out, though, the most important thing to remember is NOT to spoil it for anyone. Just because you got to see it opening weekend doesn’t mean that everybody else does, so don’t be jumpin’ online Thursday night to tweet about everything that happened. That really isn’t cool, at all.
I mean, trailers and actual quality of the movie aside, it’s a pretty rough week for any other movie to try and make any money at the box-office given that Avengers: Endgame is about to clean house. That being said, J.T. LeRoy looks to be a more limited release that’ll gradually expand to more and more theaters over the coming weeks, so maybe they do know what they’re doing after all.
21 Bridges (July 12, 2019)
I boasted that there were a bunch of sci-fi trailers released this week, which is true, but the best looking out of all of them is actually a crime thriller starring Black Panther’s Chadwick Boseman. It looks dark, gritty and hopefully will showcase a different side of Boseman’s acting talents that we really haven’t seen before.
Men in Black: International (June 14, 2019)
With Thor: Ragnarok, Avengers: Endgame and now Men in Black: International, studios should probably go ahead and just cast Chris Hemsworth and Tessa Thompson together in any major blockbuster, right? Seriously, the two have such good on-screen chemistry together, and it looks like Men in Black: International is going to tap directly into that in order to make a fun, light-hearted space romp (even if there hasn’t been a good Men in Black movie since 1997).
See You Yesterday (May 17, 2019)
We’re mixing things like Blindspotting and The Hate U Give in with Spy Kids or Time Bandits (throw in a little of the recent Twilight Zone episode, "Replay," for good measure) and, to be honest, that seems kind of weird. I’m not going to say it doesn’t work given that I haven’t seen the movie — and Spike Lee’s involvement also does give me a little hope — but I’m not totally convinced they’re going to be able to pull this one off.
Gemini Man (Oct. 4, 2019)
It says Ang Lee directed this, but trailers like these feel a lot more Michael Bay more than anyone else. Part of me wants to hold out hope for Lee and Will Smith’s involvement, and yet, watching this trailer really kind of makes me want to throw all hope out the window. Not only have we seen this before, but it just looks, you know, dull. Dull and poorly animated (the CGI is really bad), that is.
Look, Assimilate is almost certainly not going to be a good movie. One can’t help but laugh when you see these monsters and their giant mouths or whatever. That being said, I’d rather watch this than some cheesy “inspirational” sports movie or a film starring actors who are way past their prime in a heartbeat. Will I go out of my way to see it? Probably not in theaters, at least, but I’m not going to avoid it like the plague as I will with these latter two films, either.
Brian Banks (Aug. 9, 2019)
Coming from someone who wouldn’t be caught dead actually watching a real live sports game (you can usually find me in a movie theater on the night of the super bowl) but can still respect a good sports movie when it comes along (Warrior, Field of Dreams and Creed are all top-tier), this trailer just isn’t doing anything for me. Some people might like it, and that’s cool, but it’ll be a hard no from me.
The Poison Rose (May 24, 2019)
This last trailer just kind of makes me sad. Morgan Freeman, John Travolta and, yes, even Brendan Fraser (those first two Mummy movies slap so hard) are all good actors. All of them have had good performances. The Poison Rose, though, just kind of reminds you that it’s been a while since we’ve sung those kind of praises about these three. This just seems like a quick paycheck for all of them, and a reminder for the rest of us that even legends grow old and sell out.
Thor: The Dark World (2013)
Because I’m the one person out there who likes Thor: The Dark World, dammit, and I’m going to tell y’all to go watch it again just because. Seriously though, while it might fall into a Marvel formula that’s become all too common, I’d argue that Thor: The Dark World is better than it gets credit for. While we’re on the topic of unpopular Marvel opinions, I might as well throw it out there that I find Captain America: Civil War to be completely lackluster and stake-less, Guardians of the Galaxy: Volume 2 is a letdown that doesn’t come close anywhere close to the brilliance of the first film and that I can remember next to nothing of what happens in Avengers: Age of Ultron. Yep, I said it, and I’m sticking with my guns of like Thor: The Dark World too, so come at me, world.