Trailers by Brandon: Wanna know how I got these scars?

Trailers

It’s one of the most heated weekends at the 2019 box-office so far between Pet Sematary and Shazam!, while the Joker trailer is causing all kinds of crazy mayhem online. All this and more in this week’s Trailers by Brandon.

Opening this week:

Pet Sematary

Everyone else is likely going to see Shazam! first and Pet Sematary second this weekend, but not me. I’ve been way too excited about this movie for way too long (I even read the book, guys! That, like, never happens!) and I’m seeing it opening night. Everything I’ve seen from the trailers seems to suggest they’ve nailed the tone perfectly, now I just want to see it through the end.

Shazam!

I had a feeling that Shazam! was going to be good based on the trailers, but even I didn’t expect the kind of positive buzz it’s been getting from early screenings. Like, people are putting this up there with Black Panther and Spider-Man: Into the Spiderverse as one of the best comic-book films of the decade, which is a little surprising but also just makes me all the more intrigued.

The Best of Enemies

Then we have Green Book 2.0, I mean, The Best of Enemies, which no one is going to see this weekend. And, you know, I’m kind of okay with that. While there might be a positive message by the time the credits roll, can we stop making movies about racists who were supposed to be sympathetic towards?

New trailers:

Joker (Oct. 4, 2019)

We, uh, we might be looking at the trailer of the year here, folks. I hesitate to use this work — I really do — but these two minutes of footage are nearly flawless. This is all coming from someone who had more than a few concerns about this project prior to this trailer, too. A serious, gritty origin story of the joker from the guy who made The Hangover movies? Really? Yet, here we are with this absorbingly complex mix of Taxi Driver and The King of Comedy with Joaquin Phoenix right in the center of it. Start getting the Oscars ready for Joker now, people.

The Dead Don’t Die (June 14, 2019)

A zombie movie with Adam Driver, Bill Murray, Tilda Swinton and Steve Buscemi? Yes, please. While I haven’t loved all of Jim Jarmusch’s previous work — the more I think about Only Lovers Left Alive, the less I like it — it’s hard not to see trailers like this and get excited. There’s a strong Slice kind of vibe to it, which I’m all for because Slice is awesome and so are a lot of the components to this movie.

Wild Rose (June 14, 2019)

There’s nothing like a good drama musical, and even though this is directed by the guy who made The Women in Black 2: Angel of Death, this is a good trailer. Wild Rose is also getting some buzz out of early screenings, too, so it sounds like this is going to be one that you want to see.

Annabelle Comes Home (June 28, 2019)

Putting aside the fact that I don’t like the first two Annabelle movies — especially the first one, even though people praise Annabelle: Creation more than they should — this one could be fun. It looks like somewhat of a goofy callback to 80’s horror movies with that cool Night in the Museum vibe that was promised and having The Haunting of Hill House and I, Tonyas McKenna Grace in there certainly helps, even if I do still have a few reservations.

Extremely Wicked, Shockingly Evil and Vile (May 3, 2019)

I’m a little worried about Extremely Wicked, Shockingly Evil and Vile’s tone just because the trailers have been so all over the place — the first one playing it like a comedy while this one is much more serious and melodramatic — but, come on, everyone is going to watch this movie as it’s bound to be a huge hit for Netflix.

J.T. Leroy (April 26, 2019)

Movies about writers can sometimes be good — Barton Fink, Midnight in Paris or Can You Ever Forgive Me?, for example — and can sometimes be rather dull, pandering or pointless. I have hopes for J.T. Leroy given the casting of Kristen Stewart and Laura Dern, but need to see more trailers or footage before I can make a final judgement call. 

The Convent (May 3, 2019)

Movies about nuns and convents are, in general, creepy. There’s been a lot of them lately and most of them haven’t been so good, yes (looking at you The Nun and The Devil’s Doorway), but maybe The Convent will be the one finally able to capitalize on the setting.

Daddy Issues (April 19, 2019)

I’m not saying Daddy Issues is the movie that’s going to save queer cinema or even that this movie will be good, but I do wish they made more films like this. Again, the trailers are just kind of fine, but I like the general idea behind Daddy Issues and want to root for this one.

I Trapped the Devil (April 26, 2019)

Classic IFC Midnight keeping it super vague in their trailers. There’s not a lot too this quick glimpse of I Trapped the Devil, but it does establish somewhat of a creepy tone that, honestly, could go one of a thousand different ways — that is to say I’m struggling to get any kind of grasp about what this movie is about.

My Spy (2019)

Sorry, I already saw this movie when it was called The Pacifier or The Game Plan or The Spy Next Door or a hundred other similar ones. Since none of those movies really did it for me, I can’t say I have a strong need to see My Spy.

Domino (May 31, 2019)

Did you guys know that the first Mission: Impossible and Scarface were directed by the same person? I feel like that’s something I definitely should have known but didn’t until now. I bring this up only because there’s nothing else to really talk about in the trailer for Domino, as this looks like a completely dull and forgettable “thriller” that likely won’t be all too thrilling.

Stuck (April 19, 2019)

A musical in a subway car that, believe it or not, stars Breaking Bad’s Giancarlo Esposito as a singing homeless man? Like, this obviously looks bad, but trailers like these almost make me want to see the movie to see just *how* bad it could be.

Rewind:

Pet Sematary II (1992)

I know, I know, I know, Pet Sematary II really isn’t all too good of a movie, but I’d wager it’s better than you remember it is. In fact, having watched the original Pet Sematary and Pet Sematary II back-to-back recently, I’m willing to testify that Pet Sematary II is the better movie. Still not great, of course, but Clancy Brown is at least kind of fun in it.

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Brandon Schreur

The fella over there with the hella good hair. Movies and TV are my jam, and the fact that I get to write about them on a regular basis is the bees knees.

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