Trailers by Brandon: The 'Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker' marketing campaign begins

Trailers

Trailers for Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker and The Addams Family are coming in hot, while some critics are calling the new Hellboy a colossal misfire (I still don’t buy it just yet).

Opening this week:

Hellboy

By now, you’ve probably seen some reviews that are less than positive towards Hellboy. Truth be told, I’m not going to believe it until I see it with my own eyes. While I love Guillermo’s first Hellboy movie and mildly like his second, I think the trailers for this new Hellboy look like a bloody fun time and I’m excited to see what Neil Marshall can do with the property.

The Missing Link

The film that’s sure to have everyone in agreement this weekend, though, is The Missing Link. Laika might be a relatively unknown studio (they’ve done films like ParaNorman, Kubo and the Two Strings, Coraline, etc.), but everyone who sees one of their films pretty much unanimously agrees that they’re great — and, so far, the trailers for The Missing Link seem to indicate they’ll strike gold again.

Little

The trailers for Little, meanwhile, leave *little* to be desired. This movie has its audience, I’m sure, but this looks a lot like the Tyler Perry kind of comedy that I really don’t care for.

New trailers:

Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker (Dec. 20, 2019)

As someone who worships on the altar of Star Wars: The Last Jedi on a daily basis (come at me, I don’t even care), even I can admit that I’m starting to get tired of Star Wars. Maybe it’s because Solo: A Star Wars Story wasn’t that good, or maybe it’s just because the online fandom is exhausting, but we’re quickly reaching the point where we’ve been given too much of a good thing — all of that being said, this is a good trailer. Like, really good, actually. It’s just enough of a tease that has me wanting to see more and, more importantly, makes me forget about everything surrounding the Star Wars universe that I’m sick of.

The Addams Family (Oct. 11, 2019)

The animation style isn’t my favorite and comes off as a bit too Hotel Transylvania-y, but, come on, this looks pretty great. The horror-loving nerd inside of me is dying for more references like the one to Pennywise that we see in this trailer. It’s been too long since we’ve seen the Addams Family, and, so far, this looks like a pretty great tribute to them.

Wine Country (May 10, 2019)

Admittedly, I was hoping for a few more laughs out of this trailer (I mean, the ‘that’s what she said’ joke was kind of lame, right?) but how can you NOT get excited when you have Amy Poehler, Maya Rudolph, Tina Fey and a whole bunch of other very funny women all in one movie?

The Lion King (July 19, 2019)

I just…look, there’s no doubt that The Lion King will make millions and millions of dollars and that I’m going to see it opening weekend. Everything we’ve seen from the trailers, too, really shows off how impressive the special effects are going to be. It’s just that the more and more people who are questioning why we’re doing a shot-for-shot remake that I see online, the more I tend to buy into that. Didn’t we criticize Gus Van Sant for doing the exact same thing when he remade Psycho in 1998? And now we’re just okay with it? Again, I’m going to see it and everything, but I really hope they throw something new into this adaptation.

Anna (June 21, 2019)

Well, this looks like a modern-day Luc Besson action film, alright. I guess Valerian’s bombing at the box-office was enough to bring him back to generic action thrillers — generic action thrillers that look an awful lot like Red Sparrow, that is. I mean, it’s well-shot and everything, but this trailer gives us no indication as to what this movie is about and, truth be told, Besson’s track record hasn’t been so good as of late.

Homecoming: A Film by Beyoncé (April 17, 2019)

Given that I’m not part of Beyoncé’s Beehive and likely never will be, I can’t say that this trailer did a whole lot for me. Maybe they’ll release more trailers in the future that’ll win me over, but, for now, this very much looks like a Beyoncé movie that’s strictly made for Beyoncé fans — which, by all means, is totally fine. It’s not like every movie ever made needs to cater specifically towards me. This just isn’t something that I, personally, feel like I’m going to respond to.

Stuber (July 12, 2019)

Hot off the heels of his recent his standalone episode in The Twilight Zone, Kumail Nanjiani returns in a trailer that I think we all hoped would be a little funnier. I mean, putting him inside a car with Dave Bautista sounds like a good premise, but these jokes all seemed a bit dated and kind of awkward.

The Secret Life of Pets 2 (June 7, 2019)

After releasing what feels like a good 2,000 character trailers, we finally have our first glimpse towards what the storyline of The Secret Life of Pets 2 is going to be about. In retrospect, maybe they should have just stuck with those character trailers, actually. There’s nothing that looks all too special or noteworthy here, as I’m predicting a pretty bland sequel that was just made to earn a quick buck.

Trial by Fire (May 17, 2019)

It’s like Manchester by the Sea meets a boring, procedural drama that might have some talented people involved but, ultimately, doesn’t do a whole lot for me judging off this one trailer.

The Last Summer (May 3, 2019)

Netflix once again returning to the romantic comedy, only this time in the most cringe-worthy way possible. These kids are high-schoolers, for God’s sake. Spoiler alert for all you kids out there, but the summer before you go into college does not mark the end of your life. These kids are treating it that way, for some reason, which really just looks to make for a bad, dishonest and melodramatic kind of film.

The Professor (May 17, 2019)

Easily the most awkward trailer of the week, I guess Johnny Depp feels like he can just step back into the limelight and all is forgiven? Uh, no? You’re still a bad person, Mr. Depp, and it’s going to take longer than the, *checks notes*, FOUR MONTHS it’s been since Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindelwald to look past the things you’ve done. Funny thing is, even if Johnny Depp wasn’t the terrible kind of person that he is, this trailer would still be bad and cringe-worthy either way.

Rewind:

The Descent (2005)

Before coming into Hellboy, Neil Marshall made this really creepy and claustrophobic horror movie called The Descent back in 2005. It’s not a movie that a lot of people have seen, but everyone who has seen it almost certainly has some kind of affection for it, as it’s incredibly ineffective as causing scares and discomfort.

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Brandon Schreur

The fella over there with the hella good hair. Movies and TV are my jam, and the fact that I get to write about them on a regular basis is the bees knees.

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