Trailers by Brandon: 'Hellboy' still looks fun whether you want to admit it or not

Trailers

Last week, all the trailers were about musicians. This week, all the trailers about (or at least, lots of them) bank robberies/mobsters. Any guesses what next week is going to be?

Before we get to that, though, I first want to highlight this little promo Netflix put out earlier today. It’s not promoting any single movie or show, but rather is a quick sixty-second add that takes about why diversity in filmmaking (which moments from Roma, GLOW and Orange is the New Black shown) is important. Watch it below.

Now, onto the rest of Trailers by Brandon.

Opening this week:

Geta

I can’t say that I’ve been ‘wowed’ by any of the trailers for Greta, but given that it’s a horror movie and there’s nothing else being released in my area this weekend, I’m going to wind up sending it anyway. I mean, Isabelle Hupert is a phenomenal actress and Chloe Grace Moretz can do no wrong coming off of The Miseducation of Cameron Post, so who knows what secrets Greta holds?

Tyler Perry’s A Madea Family Funeral

I don’t like Tyler Perry’s attempts at humor, I’ve never seen a Madea movie and certainly have no interest whatsoever in seeing Tyler Perry’s A Madea Family Funeral. We, as a whole, can do a lot better than these lazy, somewhat racist or sexist attempts at comedy than we see in these trailers.

Climax

An A24 horror movie is an automatic yes from me, almost regardless of what it’s actually about. Climax gives off some Suspiria and Black Swan vibes in what’s sure to be a really dark and twisted tale. That’ll surely alienate some but, for others, it’s bound to be a pretty neat experience.

A Hole in the Ground

Another A24 horror movie that premiered back at Sundance and has been earning some pretty positive buzz ever since. While I’m slightly worried this one won’t be able to find its footing outside the ‘creepy kid’ genre, the trailers let out some intense and off-putting vibes that still have me pretty excited to check it out.

New trailers:

Hellboy (April 12, 2019)

I don’t care what anyone else says, I still think Hellboy looks fun. Sure, it isn’t the dark horror movie we all initially thought it would be, but this looks like a big, bloody, vulgar action movie that’s begging for my box-office dollars. Guess what, it’s earned them, because I can’t wait to go see this one.

The Irishman (2019)

Yes, there isn’t any ‘real’ footage here (hopefully we’ll see some soon in future trailers), but the fact that The Irishman is finally coming out this year and that they’ve begun promoting the movie is exciting. Netflix has been working with Martin Scorsese on this one for a while now, as the acclaimed director has made ambitious aims to de-age actors like Robert DeNiro and Al Pacino for significant portions of the film. Will that work out and become the next Goodfellas in the process? Only time will tell, but it’s never a bad bet to go with Scorsese.

Dark Phoenix (June 7, 2019)

The previous trailers for Dark Phoenix haven’t really done it for me, but this one…this one is starting to turn the tide. I’m still not totally sold on the movie, but knowing that this is likely the last we’ll see of this X-Men cast now that the Disney/Fox merger is going through at least makes me want to see what happens in this concluding chapter (since we’re seemingly never going to get that New Mutants movie I was oh so looking forward to).

The Man Who Killed Don Quixote (April 10, 2019)

Another film that’s been a long time in the making, The Man Who Killed Don Quixote looks to be an indie gem that certain film fans will almost certainly eat up. Now, that’s probably not going to give way to a much larger audience than that, but that’s okay because I’m among those who want to see this movie.

Pokémon Detective Pikachu (May 10, 2019)

Believe it or not, I’m on board for Pokémon Detective Pikachu. I never really played any Pokémon growing up and can’t say that I’ve been ‘wowed’ by any of these trailers, but the Ryan Reynolds voicing, Deadpool-like tone and actual world building is intriguing even to a non-fan like me.

Maze (March 22, 2019)

It’s got a low-budget and is proudly displaying that ‘based on the incredible true story’ banner that I’ve kind of grown to hate, but, you know me, I’ve got a thing for heist/breakout movies. I saw and at least relatively enjoyed Escape Plan 2: Hades, somehow, so odds are I’ll likely get something out of this one, too.

Stockholm (2019)

I mean, even if this doesn’t look like the greatest story in the world, this has got to be worth watching to see Ethan Hawke completely unhinged, right? When’s the last time you’ve seen him give a bad performance? Even in bad movies like Valerian or The Purge, he’s still pretty good, and when you put him in something like First Reformed, he’s great!

Finding Steve McQueen (March 15, 2019)

This one, I don’t know….this one just seems bland. Even with actors like Willam Fichtner and Forest Whitaker, there’s something about Finding Steve McQueen that just seems to be missing. Maybe future trailers will change my mind, but I’m not yet sold.

Never Grow Old (March 15, 2019)

The same sediment for Finding Steve McQueen can apply to Never Grow Old (not to be confused with They Shall Not Grow Old), honestly. It’s a fine premise with some talented actors, but there’s just nothing in this trailer that’s really screaming ‘Watch me!’

Long Lost (March 29, 2019)

Long Lost might be screaming ‘Watch me!,’ if it’s one of those nights where I feel like watching something that just looks awful (which really doesn’t happen too often). Yeah, no disrespect to anyone involved with the production as it appears to be low-budget and all, but this one looks pretty laughable. 

Rewind:

Opera (1987)

Climax is coming out! Climax looks a lot like Suspiria! The original Suspiria was directed by Dario Argento! He also directed Opera! I don’t care if it’s a stretch! That’s the recommendation I’m going with anyway!

Opera is a weird, twisted and stylistic horror film with a few surprises up its sleeve that you probably won’t see coming. It’s creepy, it’s atmospheric and it’s a whole lot of fun, so check this one out if you have a chance.

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Brandon Schreur

The fella over there with the hella good hair. Movies and TV are my jam, and the fact that I get to write about them on a regular basis is the bees knees.

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