Grindenwald in the Park: Trailers by Brandon: The crimes of who, now?


You might have thought the blockbuster season was over for the year once summer ended, but no. Oh, no no no. We’ve got some huge movies coming our way in the next couple of weeks, as well as a handful of trailers that just don’t stop coming.

Opening this week:

Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of  Grindelwald

Love it or hate it, Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindelwald is about to make insane amounts of money this weekend. My interest is peaked. I didn’t love the first Fantastic Beasts movie (it was fine) and the not-so-hot reviews for this one aren’t helping, but there’s so much a filmmaker could do with this world that J.K. Rowling made and the optimist in me wants to believe this movie will capture some of it.


Widows is the one we really should all be getting excited about, even though it won’t make a fraction of the money that The Crimes of Grindelwald makes. Director Steve McQueen’s follow-up to 12 Years A Slave, Widows looks like something new, dark and exciting.

Instant Family

I didn’t have high hopes for Instant Family — all the trailers looked like pretty clichéd affair — but, much to my surprise, I’ve been hearing good things. I just might have been wrong about this one.

Green Book

Everyone who’s seen Green Book says it’s great. Much likes The Crimes of Grindelwald and Instant Family, I saw the trailers for Green Book thought it looked fine. I certainly see the appeal and am hoping to be proven wrong, but I’ll wait until I’m in the theater to cast my final judgment.


New trailers:

Captive State (March 29, 2019)

The first teaser for Captive State left me slightly iffy on all the ambiguity but, after seeing this new one, I’m all for it. Go ahead, Rupert Wyatt, tease the hell out of us. What is Captive State about? Aliens? Political uprising? Who knows, but I’m here for it!

Dumbo (March 29, 2019)

The first trailer for Dumbo, much like Captive State, did not excite me. But this -this is a game-changer. Straight up, I already started getting a bit choked up in the footage where Dumbo and his mom are separated. And the CGI? Looks like a real, actual elephant. I’m getting for a Tim Burton movie for the first time in, like, a decade, which is a pretty exciting feeling to have.

Dumplin’ (Dec. 7, 2018)

The best trailers of this week, truly, are also the most surprising. Dumplin’ might sound like another throw-away Netflix original, but this trailer was actually pretty awesome. I love the message and where it looks like this movie is going to go so, yeah, sign me up for a movie about beauty pageants. It worked for Little Miss Sunshine, didn’t it?

Toy Story 4 (June 21, 2019)

Ever since they’ve announced Toy Story 4, we’ve all been asking ourselves one question: Do we need this movie? This trailer does not answer that question (hopefully future trailers will). It does, however, hint at the world we all fell in love with in the first place. There’s a lot riding on this — like, a LOT lot — but this is a fine teaser to re-introduce some of our favorite characters.

Detective Pikachu (May 10, 2019)

I’m not going to be an expert on pokémon. It was never a part of my childhood and I only played Pokémon Go for a total of 45 minutes. Therefore, I really don’t know what to think about Detective Pikachu. The world they’re building seems somewhat intriguing, I’ll give them that, but I still haven’t shaken the feeling that this feels like a cash-grab. I also haven’t shaken the feeling that Ryan Reynolds is the wrong choice for this role, because all I hear is Deadpool whenever Pikachu talks.

Gloria Bell (March 8, 2019)

Say whatever you want about Gloria Bell, but Julianne Moore is now 57-years-old and still looks like FIRE. Yeah, the romance seems somewhat interesting and all, but I think we can all agree that that’s the real takeaway here.

Everybody Knows (Feb. 8, 2019)

Everybody Knows might wind up being this great, albeit underseen, little gem of a movie given it comes from the director of The Salesman and A Separation, but this trailer, frankly, isn’t all too exciting. Granted, the trailers for Asghar Farhadi’s other films weren’t all that exciting either, and they turned out to be great, but this one just wasn’t all that memorable.

Backtrace (Dec. 14, 2018)

I’d like to be the high-end critic that I like to sometimes think of myself when it comes to this trailer for Backtrace but, who am I kidding, I’m going to watch this movie and enjoy every stupid second of it. Sly is back, baby, and he’s in as ridiculous of a movie as ever, which is enough to get my attention, at least.

On the Basis of Sex (Dec. 25, 2018)

I’m all for a Ruth Bader Ginsburg movie, especially considering how relevant it could be in the world and political climate that we live in. I’m just not sure if the team behind On the Basis of Sex is the right one to do it. I have no doubt that they have the best intentions, and Felicity Jones and Armie Hammer will surely be great, but all of the footage we’re shown just seems so cliché and made-for-TV.

Wonder Park (March 15, 2019)

Wonder Park might want you to think it’s swinging for the fences with how original of an idea it’s working with here, but let’s take a step back a second here: all I’m seeing is Phineas and Ferb mixed with Toy Story 3 and Scooby-Doo. Not so original, when you really think about it.

Alita: Battle Angel (Feb. 14, 2019)

The previous Alita: Battle Angel trailers have all been bad. Not only is this new trailer, but it also gives away the entire plot. Now I’m not only interested in this one, but I also know exactly how everything is going to play out. Way to go, marketing team.



Rise of the Guardians (2012)

Jude Law is starring in a new movie about magic this week with Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindelwald. He also starred in a movie about magic called Rise of the Guardians back in 2012. Yes, the connection is a bit of a stretch, but let’s just move on. Seriously though, Rise of the Guardians is a whole lot of fun. It’s basically an Avengers for a young audience, connecting all our holiday heroes in one movie for what turns out to be a pretty badass mission. Yeah, I said it, and I meant it too — Rise of the Guardians kicks some serious butt.

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Brandon Schreur

The fella over there with the hella good hair. Movies and TV are my jam, and the fact that I get to write about them on a regular basis is the bees knees.

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