Trailers by Brandon: 'Escape Room' looks like the dumb fun I need

The new movies this week are a whole lot of nothing. I mean, we have a submarine thriller starring Gerard Butler, if that’s your thing, but I think Hollywood is just counting on us to all go see Halloween again (which I will with pleasure). The trailers, though, are pretty exciting — even if the one I’m most excited for could easily be a letdown.

Opening this week:

Hunter Killer

The biggest release this week is…a submarine movie starring Gerard Butler? Is that really all we’ve got? I guess this will appeal to a certain audience and all, given the trailers are certainly playing into that generic '80s thriller kind of vibe, but I think I’ll pass.

Johnny English Strikes Again

I’ve never seen a Johnny English movie and, after seeing the trailers for Johnny English Strikes Again, I don’t have any plans to. Again, I’m sure this is for a certain audience (although I can’t say I’ve encountered too many Johnny English fans in day-to-day life), but just not for me.

London Fields

Limping to the finish line this week, we have London Fields — a movie that was supposed to come out, like, two years ago. For all this drama, it’s pretty sad to note that the trailers don’t even make it look that good. Might have been a better idea to just leave this one buried.

 

New trailers:

Escape Room (Jan. 4, 2019)

I’m embarrassed at how naively excited I got while watching this trailer. The fact that it’s coming out the first week in January is a really bad sign but, screw it, this looks cool. It’s like Cube (which is a really exciting, underrated thriller from the '90s) meets Saw (the first Saw, that is) in a weird, fantastical setting. Like, how can you not be excited after hearing that?

How to Train Your Dragon: The Hidden World (Feb. 22, 2019)

The pop music may be unnecessary and all, but this still looks adorable. The first two How to Train Your Dragons are surprisingly great — like, really — and this one looks to continue in that trend. I’m still a little worried the storyline looks like a slight retread of the second movie, but I don’t care all that much if it means we get more Toothless.

Bird Box (Dec. 21, 2018)

Some John Carpenter/The Thing vibes stemming out of this one, but the trailer for Bird Box actually looks pretty cool. They show us just enough footage here to get us interested without revealing what, exactly, these creatures are. Round it out with a talented ensemble cast and this looks like a winner.

Vox Lux (Dec. 7, 2018)

That. Accent. I guess Black Swan just wasn’t weird enough for Natalie Portman, so she went ahead with Vox Lux. Truth be told, I don’t know the first thing about this movie. It looks incredibly stylistic, meaning it runs the risk of being all style and no substance, but this trailer is still a pretty intriguing one.

Cold Pursuit (Feb. 8, 2019)

Liam Neeson is killing people again. This time in the snow. No, it’s not a The Grey sequel, it’s a remake of a Norwegian film called In Order of Disappearance instead. Look, you really don’t need to try too hard to come up with a good excuse to make a movie like this. Neeson’s son is dead, he’s out for revenge. We’ll get to see him be badass and kill a bunch of people with his snowplow. As long as you go in not expecting anything more than that, this should be a lot of fun.

The Prodigy (Feb. 8, 2019)

This one really could go either way. To The Prodigy’s credit, this is a fine teaser which doesn’t give a lot away — which is a good thing. I’d rather know nothing about the movie than have everything ruined in a trailer, and the footage we do see here is creepy. On the other hand, this is a pretty clichéd premise, so they’re going to have to show us something that makes this stand out amongst the crowd.

The Holiday Calendar (Nov. 2, 2018)

The diverse cast is great and all, but this trailer really screams cheesy Hallmark Christmas movie. Granted, those can certainly be enjoyable and definitely have their place in the world — which is almost tempting enough to watch The Holiday Calendar — but I wouldn’t expect anything more than that from this one.

 

Rewind:

The Hunt for Red October (1990)

Submarine thrillers aren’t exactly a new genre (again, which is why this is such an odd time for Hunter Killer to be released). The king of them all, without a doubt, is The Hunt for Red October. Starring Alec Baldwin and Sean Connery, The Hunt for Red October is easily the best Jack Ryan movie to date.

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Brandon Schreur

The fella over there with the hella good hair. Movies and TV are my jam, and the fact that I get to write about them on a regular basis is the bees knees.

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