Trailers by Brandon: It's a great weekend to be a horror fan


This just in: Isle of Dogs is getting a nationwide release next week, April 12. We only have to wait seven more days. We can make it everyone, we can make it. Having some new exciting movies and trailers to talk about this week doesn’t make the wait too bad either, so let’s talk about those for now.

Opening this week:

A Quiet Place

Horror fans rejoice. I saw A Quiet Place last night and quickly fell in love with this movie. Everything from John Krasinski’s directing (who knew Jim Halpert had it in him) to the impeccable sound design and the incredible performance from Millicent Simmonds, this is one that you’re going to want to see. And then see again. And again. And again.


Bold statement: studio comedy is making a comeback. It died shortly after the first Hangover movie when every studio comedy was nothing but dumb, gross and overly obscene. In 2018, though, we’ve had Game Night, Blockers is getting great reviews and Tag looks hilarious. It’s an exciting time for comedy, and I’m excited to see what Blockers brings to the table.

You Were Never Really Here

In 2010, Joaquin Phoenix made a movie called I’m Still Here and it was god-awful. I’m not sure how I made it through that whole movie without turning it off. You Were Never Really Here seems to be his apology though. I mean, the two films don’t have anything in common story-wise, but it looks pretty interesting and is getting good reviews so far, so I'll take it.


The trailers didn’t wow me, mostly because Ed Helm’s accent seems so tacky (I’m 99% that he used the same voice when doing one of Andy Bernard’s impressions), but the story behind Chappaquiddick has some interesting weight behind it. Just don’t ask me to try and pronounce the title out loud.

The Miracle Season

This trailer is so cheesy that it actually hurts — and not in a good way. Sometimes cheesy is fun, just look at any ‘80s action movie. This…not so much. There’s definitely an audience for this kind of movie, but it’s not one that I’m going to be checking out anytime soon.


New trailers:

Upgrade (June 1, 2018)

I heard the plot synopsis and thought this movie sounded dumb as hell. I watched the trailer and then thought this movie looked fun as hell. Seriously, I had the biggest grin on my face the whole time — it’s loud, bloody and just plain dumb, but in the best possible way. Take my money now Blumhouse, I’m sold on Upgrade.

The Cleanse (2018)

The Lobster meets The Cabin in the Woods meets Stranger than Fiction and for some reason, I’m so compelled to see this movie. There are horror elements in there, for sure, but The Cleanse looks to be playing mostly just on absurdity, which sounds right up my alley.

How to Talk to Girls at Parties (May 18, 2018)

Sometimes A24 makes more normal looking and sentimental films, like the upcoming Lean on Pete. Other times they chose to just go for it. How to Talk to Girls at Parties (lol, teach me how) is one of that latter. Yet, in all its strange subject matter, it still looks like there might be a heart of gold at the center of this one, and that’s what I’m most excited to see.

The Man Who Killed Don Quixote (2018)

Pretty simple — I’ll see it for Adam Driver. The trailer didn’t do all that much to wow me, but Driver is a king in the world of independent cinema. If he thinks this is a good project, then it probably is, so I’ll follow him into whatever it is The Man Who Killed Don Quixote is.

Night School (Sept. 28, 2018)

First confession: I’m not a huge Kevin Hart fan. I think he’s capable in films like Jumanji or Central Intelligence (so basically whenever he’s working with the rock), but I can’t stand his comedic stick in things like Ride Along or basically anything else he’s in. Second confession: I’m a huge, huge Tiffany Haddish fan, ever since I saw what she did in Girl’s Trip. Therefore, I’m still going to check out Night School, since I just said studio comedy was alive again and all.

Cargo (May 18, 2018)

Netflix still isn’t in my good favor with their original films, but I do like post-apocalyptic thrillers and I do like Martin Freeman, so Cargo at least has some potential. Getting some Z for Zachariah and The Road vibes out of this one, which isn’t necessarily a bad thing.

Revenge (May 11, 2018)

It has a generic title and that shot with the whole tree branch was pretty gross, but I’m digging the whole desert, Mad Max kind of vibe that Revenge has going for it. All the pull-quotes in the trailer say that it’s a female empowering movie and what not as well, so I see some potential here.

Johnny English Strikes Again (October 12, 2018)

I’ve never seen a Johnny English movie. The trailer for Johnny English Strikes Again doesn’t necessarily have me convinced that I need to go and correct that. Typically, I prefer sharply written comedy (i.e. something like Arrested Development or American Vandal) as opposed to slapstick, and this trailer definitely falls into the latter category.


Signs (2002)

The first thought I had coming out of A Quiet Place was how much it reminded me of Signs. And yeah, guess what, Signs is still a good movie. Take all your complaints about the ending and go somewhere else with them. I’m fine with the whole water bit  — Maybe they didn’t know it was their weakness? Maybe they needed something from the earth and had to risk it with all the water? The whole point is that the film is from this one family’s perspective, so who knows what the motivation behind the aliens was. Plus, the moment right before that — “Swing away Merrill” — is pure brilliance. It’s, personally, my favorite M. Night Shyamalan film (come at me Sixth Sense fans), and still holds up to this day.

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Brandon Schreur

The fella over there with the hella good hair. Movies and TV are my jam, and the fact that I get to write about them on a regular basis is the bees knees.

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